:)jUst_mY_sTupiDitY(:

bilang gw bodoh
bilang gw tolol
bilang gw gublug
bilang gw ga bisa belajar dari masa lalu
bilang semua makian yang pengen lu bilang ke gw yang ga jadi lu bilang ke gw karena gw imut (sumpe..gw kebelet boker waktu nulis ini)

hari ini gw emang bego banget
i’ve opened a forbidden box
i knew that it might hurt me
i dont even have any privilege to open that box
again..it’s my curiosity that almost killed me
just like

tadi aku hampir nangis waktu baca milis elektro tentang rahasia terdalam lelaki

ada satu kalimat yang bilang:
Kalau Lelaki menangis dihadapanmu, tandanya dia benar2 sayang sama kamu, karena: Kodrat Lelaki adalah pantang utk menangis. Jika ia menangis, hanya ada satu kata:
Dia cinta kamu.

terlepas dari itu bener ato nggak, gw sempet terharu aja..
gw pernah melepaskan leleaki yang menangis didepanku

hehehe…

bodoh ya??

memang….

semoga dia baik” saja dan bener” disayang ma cewenya yang sekarang

maaf..
maafkan…

Well..

It’s the 3^rd day of
my 23^rd year

Thx to HIM for giving me
not-so-a-beautiful-life(heeyyy!!! (just kidding…))

Thx to Bunda for taking care of
me patiently…

I’m sorry for disapointing
you…this 23^rd year..i’ll try to mend it

Thx to Bapak for marrying Bunda,
that’s d cause of my existence:D

Still doing what I did in my 22^nd
year

Lazying around…

Doing a finger sport, like
playing game house, hehe…

Going to I-try-to-avoid place
just for d/l-in’ movie or anime

Improving my english by:

- 

Reading

manga

- Watchin’ movie

- Ngaskus, hehe…

Still don’t have a passion to
finish my final project >,<

Just what does it takes to make
me realize the importance of finishing that damn-it thing!!

Huaaahhhh!!!!!

Nma..just forget it…fufufu..

You know…

There r four feelings that u
cant erase in

ur

entire life

1. grateful

once
u r being help by other in

ur

hard time, u’ll always think that u owe him/her much unless u do something
that’s very important to him/her

(neee??
It’s ambiguous ru…if u use ‘unless’, then d truth is that this feeling can be
erased??just what d hell r u tryin to say?? (dunno…-_-‘)
)

2. guilty

once
u make someone really really had a hard time, u’ll always feel uncomfort
everytime u meet him/her unless u’ve got d “karma”(if u believe it).

(again…unless…ambiguous!!)

3. regret

once
u do something that has a fatal effect on

ur

life, u’ll always remember that(well..not a
bad thing, guess)

4. LOVE

Once
u love someone, altough u’ve already replaced him/her with someone else (it’s cruel to use ‘replaced’!! (well..whatever) ),
d feeling u had will always  remains in

ur

heart.

Ummh…

Some people say that there’re
three things that’s really hard to say:

1. I love U

Umm…not
really hard actually. Well…it might hard for

ur

1^st time, just need to pull

ur

courage together. But once u say it, eventough u r being rejected, it’ll be
easier to say it again laterJ

2. I’m sorry..

Huaahhh!!
Absolutely disagree!! Even most people say it frequently!! What d hell they’re
thinking ‘sorry’ is?? A ‘sorry’ must be said honest and straightforward, not
with a grin:D. and d most important thing is…don’t do it again!!

3. Help me

Well…for
me..it’s also not a hard phrase to say, hehe…(thx to u guys, sorry for always
bothering u, n I’m still here for bothering u more, kekeke…(oi..oi…sorry must be said with no grin!!))

For
me…the hardest thing to say is…

‘okay,
ruri…I forgive u’

The
hardest thing to do in my life is…

Forgiving
my self for doing those things…

Still
cant forgive my self..n it sucks!!!

Geez….

What
should I do??

What am
I suppose to do so that I can forgive my self?

Please….

This
is a very horrible feeling…….

lagi…hari ini ruri menyadari kebodohan ruri

in d way to campus…
i saw a man, walking with a stick in his hand
means..
i saw a blind man
and…*BOOOMM*

ya 4jj1…
how can he survive with the blindness he has??
when I, that still can see the beauty of the earth n the creature dwell on it, still complaining to Him about this glassess??

ya 4jj1..
ampuni dosa hamba..
ga pernah bersyukur…
smoga ruri jadi lebih banyak bersyukur dan bersedekah tahun ini
amiiin..

this is all about…The Eye of The Fish..
(mata ikan we malah baguzz)

a month ago..gw punya benjolan di kaki,kaya ngapal gitu deh..
coz gw sukanya jogging ga pke sepatu, labih sehat gituu..
(bo’ong!!! bilang aja ga punya sepatu olah raga!!)

one day..i went out with my fren n show it to her, she said that "it’s clavus, n there’ s no way to cure it except surgery." wiikkk….operasi lagi??
pikir gw..keren juga kali ya??
(sumpah!!gw sekarang ngrasa goblog bgt pernah mikir gitu)
tapi biar lebih keren lagi..gw tunggu agak gedean dikit, biar lebih keren operasinya
(ini pemikiran yg lebih goblog lagi!!)

ga berapa lama setelah itu…ipar gw yg dari jombang yang kebetulan juga dokter, dateng, trus bilang ke gw..oo, itu ada obatnya..ga usah di operasi, ada plester biar dia mati sendiri trus lepas sendiri
waktu tu gw masi mikir…
‘ ga keren ah..ga ada sakit"nya..ga menantang!!"
(ini gw goblog bgt!!!apa aslinya gw emang goblog ya??)

jadi, dengan tenang gw menolak plester tersebut..yang akhirnya gw sesali smpe sekarang…
kemudian, dengan langkah mantab kaya langkah gw kalo mo ngampus(bo’ong bgtzz…!!!), datanglah gw ke GMC a.k.a Gadjah Medical Centre (tempat brobat gadjah?? pantess…)

buzz..ckiit..nyut..slerp..slerp…(apaan c)
dengan tampang bangga, gw berhasil keluar ruangan dengan kaki di perban dan jalan terpincang"

nah..beberapa hari setelah itu, gw baru sadar ke goblogan gw:
1. gw ga mikir kalo kaki tu buat jalan (selama ini buat nendangin orang n barang"), jelas..gw ga bisa jalan denga baik dan bener, apa lagi tu mata ikan mo nyaingin mata kaki gw..dia malah di telapak kaki gw..
2. gw ga mikir bahwa sekrang musim ujan, dan gw sedang melakukan misi yang membutuhkan kaki gw ditengah ujan…(ciee..penting apa?)
3. gw penderita hyperhidrosis yang hyper bgtzz

dengan kegoblog-an gw diatas..kaki gw dengan berhasil menderita infeksi yang mengakibatkan ke kurus-an gw bertambah karena gw jadi susah tidur coz suakitnyaa….bikin melek ngalahin minuman" itu deh!!

gw pun sukses dibolehin make sendal ke kampus lebih dari dua minggu, dan gw sukses ngapalin kata" buat njawab pertanyaan para fans gw:
fans:"lho..ruri kakinya kenapa??"(masih tampang perhatian..)
gw: " kna mata ikan.."(sambil nyengir..seneng diperhatiin)
fans: "oo..mata ikan apa c?"
gw: "umm..kaya kutil gitu…bla..bla…"
fans: "hwahahahahahaha…ruri kutilaaannn!!!!!jijaaayyy…"(tampang pengen di timpuk pke komputer!!)
gw :"#!^%@&(#&()_!)*#"
–> yak..dan gw juga dengan sukses mempermalukan diri gw!!

pesan moral buat para pembaca:
"kalo pengen sesuatu yang keren n menarik perhatian, operasi mata ikan adalh jawabannya, bikin orang perhatian dan manarik perhatian mereka buat ngata"in juga, selamat mencoba"

hyaaa….
sometimes, i asked 4JJ1…why was i born as a girl??
i hate to a girl!!(geez..i shouldn’t say that..)

girl always say the oppesite of what she wanna say
when she wanna say :
dunt leave me…
she’ll definitely say:
just go..that’s fine

why??? why..why…

hah…

April 8^th 2007

11.16 pm

OST: Laluna – Selepas Kau Pergi

Hmm…. What a sad song…

Melankonis mode = on

Have u ever been left by some
one that u really love? with no reason? Someone that u really trust? It’s hurt,
so hurt…

“this pain is just to real..
this just too much that time can not erase”

-evanessence with my immortal-

Can’t we just hate him/her?

It’s not like when

ur

friend take ur chocolate  or give u a  ‘cute’  maggot..

It’s because of love.. Love
sucks!!

When u r too much in love with
someone,

u’ll always have a reason for
what he/she’s done

And most cases prove that u’ll
blame

ur

self

u’ll say:

‘If I didn’t do that, then
he/she wudn’t do this…’

Can’t we just forgive him/her?

When he/she said ‘it’s over’ or
‘there’s someone else..”, I guarantee that u’ll curse him/her in every language u know and mention some animals

U may do something for revenge, n
the result is…u have a pseudo happiness for a while n then It makes u even
worst..

The mix of guilty n hurt…

Still miss him/her… n want
him/her to come back

There’s a saying ‘hatred n love
are confined just by a line of thread’

Hehe.. benci benci benci.. tapi
rindu..uoo…- have no idea about the singer

Even if he/she did something
terrible to u.. u’ll say.. ‘well..maybe I deserve it..’

N u’ll still have a time n
reasons to do something for his/her sake

Still wanna see him/her, chat,
pay much attention, threat him/her good… eventough u knew that it’ll just
hurt u more n more!!

What a stupid things to do to
the one that hurt u so much.

And I did it…hehe….

Am I stupid?? Yes… I am!! But
stupidity makes me human, hehe…

It’s a great lesson…

I might step into a very dark
forest of love

I might drawn in a deep deep
water

But.. I guarantee, from now on… that
memories of us wont make me weak, it’s just an old time’s sake, hehe…

thx bro… thx for ruining my life

*bi9_9rin*

Hehe…

if only I
could love U that much… hopefully..

Fiuuhh….

this mornin, i saw an old couple
what a great view…
they are ..umm… trash collector?
no..umm..rubbish devider??
umm..maybe it’ll be more polite if i say
plastic collector

they put the plastics on the pedicab,
the old man drove the pedicab
the old woman helped him by pushing the pedicab

they old man said
" come..get in to the pedicab, i’m strong enough to drive this by my self"
his wife just smiled and said
"it’s okay.., u dont need to push ur self too hard"

ummh…
what a great couple
they aren’t have much money
but they have all the love in the world..
they struggle together to face this crazy world

….
i wish i was strong enough to mend that fuss
i wish…
just my wish..

i hate him today…
and all days to come

i wish that i could divide him in to pieces
(wakzz….)

hah..
i wish that i really could hate them

waa…waa….waaa….
this is so un-me
where’s my motto gone??

open up ur heart n let the sun shine in
juz keep smiling..juz keep smiling
semangat ruri ya…

I know I can

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Hwehehehe…2^nd class
English..what a pity..

N I’m still in that class,
hikzz..poor ruri, huahuahua….>,<

Geez…4.35 am, haven’t sleep yet

Hikz..I got insomnia.
No..correction..actually, I can’t sleep! No!! I must not
sleep..bcoz I’m not allowed to sleep. Halah…headacheeeee!! (baca:
pusiiiiiingg!!) ato headaaacchee?? Ah..not so important deh

I don’t know what to do!!
Hehe…actually, I have lots of things to do..but I dont want to do
that, hikzz…why do I have to become a lazy gal??(ask ur self u
fool!!!)

Again..poor ruri….>,<

So I just play solitaire (I just have
windows games, hikzz… Again..poor ruri….>,<)

It’s ended up with having $351 loan,
fyi: I play vegas version, huahuahuaa….

Again..poor ruri….>,<

Yeaahh…today is Monday. In elementary
school, Monday means a ceremony day. Based on that fact, I have to
wake up in early morning so that my mom wont be late to go to school
(taking mum to her office is my duty in every morning, that’s very
kind of me, hwehehehe…:P).

If she late, that  will be so
embarrassing, the teacher must be better than the student, no? if I
sleep now, I wont wake up till my dad pour a cup of water to my face,
hehehe..hiperbolis dink!!

Yeaa..i wont wake up till dad come to
my place (fyi: I live with my parents but in a different house) n
knock the garage hardly or push the horn frequently. It wont stop
unless I open the door, show my tilt head n say.. I know.. I know..
sorry for being late. But not just that, there will be a preach (that
I wont listen of course:P) before he leave. Geezz…. I hate Monday!!
But I’m a good daughter eniway, hohoho…^0^

Uummm…..To talk about the Monday
ceremony (Thx God I’ve passed it long time ago), what’s the
importance of that ceremony c? remembering us about our ancestor?
Hwahahahah…not so sure deh!! Only an unordinary student do that.
Ordinary student will just chat, horse around, have snack, etc. I bet
U did that too!!

hikzz..miss that time….(daydreaming
time…)

5.18 am… time to go home…

Haaahh…..

So sleepy………………………………

And hungry……kruuyuk..kruyuukkk

Again..poor ruri….>,<